Where "The Borrowers" Are Now

Do you know who The Borrowers are? This is not to be confused with the Bible verse that Dave Ramsey quotes so often (Proverbs 22:7). These "Borrowers" were written about in a series of books that I read aloud to the Princess when she was young. See here if you need a refresher course in certain "Little People."

In the books, The Borrowers "borrow" things from humans who are supposed to be oblivious of their existence. The humans, of course, think they've just misplaced items. If The Borrowers inadvertently make their existence known to humans, they move for safety's sake.

Which brings us to now. We've had two weird occurrences concerning missing sundries.

About a year ago we rode to a corn maze in the Princess's car. The next morning Pastor Dad realized that he could not find his cell phone and assumed that he'd lost it either in the corn maze or on the accompanying hayride. Since the cell phone is almost as important to Pastor Dad's existence as I am he obtained another one immediately. (Wait! Suddenly I am not sure that I like this analogy.)

Anyway, a couple of months ago, the Princess's hubby was working on a flat tire and found a cell phone in the wheel-well, of all places. It looked like the Bear's phone, but Bear said that it wasn't his and confirmed same by producing it on the spot. It was the one Pastor Dad lost a year earlier. How did it get into the wheel well?

This summer, we cleaned out a rented storage facility. The last person to have my keys - the ring containing the keys to the storage lock and Pastor Dad's car - was Lulu. When I asked her for them she could not find them. As you read yesterday, I recently discovered that I had no key to Pastor Dad's car when I needed it.

Sunday morning, the Princess walked toward me in the church auditorium with a funny smile on her face. In her hand she held my keys. She'd found them somewhere in her car. She has no idea how they came to be located in a nook or cranny there.

But I know.

I think The Borrowers liked the Princess as much as the Princess liked the Borrowers and have taken up residence in her car! This is good news indeed as the husbands of both the Princess and Lulu state that their wives - my daughters - lose things often. Looks like it isn't their fault after all, guys!

I've been known to misplace a thing or two occasionally but I usually attribute my losses to age and hormones. I think now I'll reconsider. And I'll be hunting through the inner recesses of the Princess's car from now on whenever something goes missing.

The Borrowers are among us!

How To Take A Bear To The Doctor

Given the fact that the Bear's illness came equipped with high temps (103.7), his older sister who lives nearby just got over the flu, his oldest sister developed life-threatening pneumonia after her own bout with the flu, and it was the weekend (whew!) I felt it necessary to take the Bear to the doctor Friday. This was not easy for a couple of reasons:

1. Our doctor's office was turning children away unless it was a dire emergency.
2. The Bear hasn't been ill since 2005 so I wasn't sure he was still in their system. Really and truly.

But off to the doctor he went. Just not without a hitch. So here are the steps I took to get the Bear there:

• Call for appointment. Actually get one! Amazing! Have 60 minutes to get him there.
• Put Fen in his car seat, dogs in crates/rooms, get Bear off couch, grab purse and prepare to load big boy and little boy in car.
• Remember that Pastor Dad took my car on his funeral trip to WV since mine is more comfortable on trips than is his. Reassess situation.
• Look for keys to Pastor Dad's car since this is the one in the garage.
• Realize that I no longer have a key to Pastor Dad's car since someone (I'm looking at you, Nevada!) lost my keys this summer.
• Panic!!!!!!!!
• Call son-in-law in hopes that he is not (a) substitute teaching, (b) off running errands, (c) ignoring the call once he sees it is his mother-in-law's number on caller i.d.
• Breathe once more when son-in-law answers phone.
• Borrow son-in-law's mini-van and drop off Fen to play with his adoring cousins (bonus!)
• Drive Bear to doctor's appointment where they are positive that it is strep but the test is negative. Go back home after several blood tests, no diagnosis, and no prescriptions.

The good news is that the fever is now broken and the Bear is on the mend. Blood tests for things like mono are negative.

Bear looks like he saw ghosts this Halloween. Or maybe it's him that looks like a ghost. Good thing we kept him in the house away from the trick or treaters! I don't care how he looks. I'm just thankful that the fever is gone. Seven days is a long time to have temps over 100 degrees unless one is off on a Caribbean vacation.

A Dog And A Blog

Yes, Pepper speaks. Doesn't every dog? But now you know why there have been so many mentions of her in recent posts. Well, that and our favorite foil, the Bear, has been sick and it seemed heartless to pick on him when he's ill. Although, he ain't that sick, Praise the Lord, and should be back to being good blog fodder any day now.

In the meantime, I thought you might like to see my co-writer. Usually she dictates or leaves me notes, but as you can see, she decided to take things into her own hands er, paws the other day.

I'm sorry! But I couldn't read what she'd written! The copy was dog-eared.

From "Almost Heaven" to Heaven

I just returned from the first funeral of a dear man who was a member of our church. I say "first" because this one took place in OH where the man and his immediate family now live, but there will be a second one in WV this weekend where the man was born. It is also where he died last weekend while making his "good-bye dear family" visit.

I'll miss him. He was the kind of man who gently teased the small children and verbally sparred with the rest of us. He was the kind of man who liked to throw down a verbal glove but then acted surprised if I responded to his challenge. I always did so because the battles were good-natured and never mean-spirited.

He and his wife were/are two of the most generous people I've ever known. Their generosity wasn't just the kind that included gifts of home-grown veggies and baked sweet bread, although there have been plenty of those. It was the sharing of their burdens, their blessings, their very lives that constituted their generosity. They've had their share of mountaintop and valley experiences both within and without the borders of the state of West Virginia. I felt privileged that they allowed us to ascend the heights and plod through the lowlands with them.

Each week the man's wife sends a newsy email to her family, friends, and pastor updating us on burdens and blessings. The man hasn't been well in quite some time and toward the end the illnesses were ganging up on him. His wife would give us the doctors' diagnoses and prognoses in a form that we could understand. Each email was written like a blog post. I wish I could share her writing with you because it is so sweet and down-to-earth. Each email ended with song lyrics. I looked forward to reading them each weekend.

I hope she keeps sending them. I never want to stop hearing about how she is managing day-to-day without her beloved husband there to share the moments. I'm not just her pastor's wife, I'm her friend because she allows me to be.

To me, the hardest part of laboring beside my husband in the ministry is attending the funerals of our congregants. And yet, it is the part that epitomizes what the ministry is all about. What other service demonstrates so effectively the message we're laboring to deliver? Our goal is to proclaim the offer of salvation so that all will be prepared for the next phase of their life, the eternal one. And what worship service proclaims better than this one does that we believe there is reason to hope? We aren't saying "good-bye." We're saying, "See you later!" because we believe we will!

To quote my newly-widowed friend, "A song, a song. I must find a song." I can think of no better one than the one Pastor Dad sang today.

No More Night

(words and music by Walt Harrah)

The timeless theme,

earth and heaven will pass away.

It’s not a dream,

God will make all things new that day.

Gone is the curse
from which I stumbled and fell.
Evil is banished to eternal hell.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying again.

And praises to the great "I AM."

We will live in the light of the risen Lamb.

See all around,

now the nations bow down to sing.

The only sound is the praises to Christ, our King.

Slowly the names from the book are read.

I know the King, so there’s no need to dread.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying again.

And praises to the great "I AM."

We will live in the light of the risen Lamb.

See over there,

there’s a mansion, oh that’s prepared just for me,
where I will live with my savior eternally.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying again.

And praises to the great "I AM."

We will live in the light of the risen Lamb.
All praises to the great "I AM."
We’re gonna live in the light of the risen Lamb.

Dunces With Wolves

Don't let that laid back, docile look fool you. Inside this dog is all the cunning of her wild canine wolf cousins.

Ever since we installed an invisible fence Pepper has been able to run in and out freely. This has put an end to certain problems (like bursting out the door whenever it opened followed by wild chases through adjoining neighborhoods) while adding to others (like trying to knock the doors down to get back in the house because whatever is going on inside must be more fun than what is going on outside). Even dogs are never satisfied.

But worse than the forced entry problem is the way she has acquired certain wolf-like habits.

Last night, for example, she sat outside howling at the moon until we got tired of hearing it - which fortunately was before our neighbors did - and forced her back inside. Unfortunately, we had to do this repeatedly as one cannot always tell when a dog is lying. Dogs are a lot like toddlers in that way.

Once she tired of that game she decided to put her hunting skills to the test. She sized up her prey and then went into action.

First, while I was distracted with kitchen cleanup she ran to my bedroom and grabbed one of my fluffy slippers. Since she is known for literally tearing the stuffing out of anything that is stuffed I promptly yelled for the Bear to rescue my footwear.

Second, once Bear had rescued my soggy slipper and was distracted by returning same to my bedroom she bounded down the stairs and ravenously devoured whatever it was that was in a bowl that had been left unguarded. (Yes, even though sick, the Bear has not stopped eating - and in this case that's a good thing.)

Cunning. Very cunning. Instead of our usual "hats" of "teacher" and "student" today I think we will sport ones with the word DUNCE boldly emblazoned upon them.